I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
