There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
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