Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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