he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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