I'll bet she douches with gravy.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Randomize
