i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
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she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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