I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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