i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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