does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
and eventually we just all took our pants off
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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