is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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