I like my sex mixed with concussions.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
