me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
