batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
