Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Randomize
