so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
