Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Sorry my hands just texted you
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
