Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
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Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
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I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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