You just made me feel so damn special
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize