i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I will be naked everywhere
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
