Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
