I'd wear matching sweaters with you
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
