so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize