Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
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Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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