Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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