so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
there was a trapeze. enough said
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Randomize
