I want to walk on stilts...naked
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Randomize
