you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I need a beard to bite.
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