so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
