hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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