"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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