Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
