we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Ketchup is God's man juice
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
