We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
