Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
This is my life. Enjoy the view
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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