The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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