I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Randomize
