i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
