I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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