You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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