K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
