You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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