My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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