when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize