i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
im holly from the hills drunk
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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