You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize