I don't think brook has ever known best
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
