dude i'm inner monologue high
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
