My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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