He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Is it penis luge time yet?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
