yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
