you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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