FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
These tits shall not be calmed
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
