Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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