This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize