love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
