I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
