So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize