I wish I could punch you in the face.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
