Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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