I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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