After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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