We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
